Stress

Stress is a reaction to a conflict that one cannot handle or doesn't know how to handle, so it is not resolved satisfactorily. The conflict is therefore within the person, making it tangible for the client to nuance and find a sustainable solution for.

Despite stress often being associated with factors like work pressure, lack of recognition, and various environmental stressors, I believe overall that it is not an external phenomenon, but an internal one. This means that we define stress as a reaction or symptom of unresolved conflict.

Every time we experience conflicts for which we do not immediately know the solution or cannot resolve, there is a risk of stress. Unresolved conflicts create distance in our relationships with others. This distance may be perceived as slight tension or nervousness. Perhaps it is not immediately noticed, but with accumulation, it may eventually be recognized as restlessness or stress.

It goes without saying that several or many situations are usually required before it is recognized and categorized as stress. Conversely, it may only take a small situation to trigger stress. It was precisely that experience that caused the cup to overflow, as they say.

Anxiety

Facts

• It is normal to feel anxiety.
• In pathological anxiety, the anxiety is excessive and unreasonable. It can, for example, be panic disorder, phobias, and generalized anxiety disorder.
• You can train yourself to have greater tolerance for anxiety (which means managing anxiety better).

What is anxiety?

Fear, terror, and anxiety are normal reactions to experiences that feel threatening or dangerous.

In addition to the psychological experience of anxiety, such experiences can cause stress reactions in the body. It can be:

• Palpitations
• Shortness of breath
• Dizziness
• Sweating
• Feeling hot or cold

In pathological anxiety, symptoms are triggered more easily than usual. Anxiety is often excessive (not in line with reality).

Anxiety can be associated with a range of conflicts. It can, for example, be conflicts in external life situations, development, identity, existential themes, overload, guilt, and conscience. It may not be obvious what anxiety is related to, but there is a task in addressing it, learning to handle it, and viewing it as an expression of emotions and needs that may be difficult to acknowledge. To address these tasks, it can often be a good idea to work with cognitive treatment.

Dependence

What is dependence?

Dependence can be difficult to describe and can mean different things from person to person. If you are concerned about your use, whether it's alcohol, marijuana, food, gambling, or drugs, it's good to be aware of your behavior. Here's a list of what to watch out for to avoid problems.

Be aware of...

• ... if you feel more normal and function better when under the influence than when you're not.
• ... if your consumption has become so much of a habit that you continue even though you can see it hindering other things that matter to you.
• ... if you need more and more to achieve the same high. Or if the high you experienced initially is different now.
• ... if you feel uncomfortable if you don't smoke/drink/take drugs/gamble.
• ... if you experience a strong craving that is difficult to control. Even if in the morning you think "Today, I won't overeat," you find it very tempting.
• ... if you make excuses to continue smoking/drinking/taking drugs/overeating, such as having had a bad day or it's raining.

But I just "need" a little...

All substances and excessive consumption can lead to dependence if used incorrectly, too often, and too much, but it varies in how quickly it happens. Some substances that are highly addictive are cocaine and nicotine. They have a short - but effective - effect when you use them, and at the same time, you will quickly have a physical craving for more. If you're a smoker, you know that it's really hard to quit smoking - you'll experience physical withdrawal symptoms like sweating or mood swings. This can be called physical dependence. Alcohol can also cause physical (and mental) dependence, but it's a slower addictive substance, which is why you can drink a lot on a Friday without having the same urge to drink on Saturday. Food creates mental dependence, and in some cases, it can be about control.

Some believe that you cannot become addicted to cannabis, but that's not true. However, it often manifests as a different form of dependence, namely psychological dependence. It can manifest as cannabis making you happy, stopping racing thoughts, or reducing anxiety. It may not sound like a bad thing, but cannabis doesn't remove the feelings; it just dampens them temporarily. This means that you can still experience sadness, racing thoughts, or anxiety when you're not smoking and that you gradually need to smoke more and more to achieve the same emotional numbing effect.

What do I do?

You can have problems without being addicted. But whether you feel that your use is becoming problematic or you're afraid you're becoming dependent, it's a good idea to talk to someone. It can be your friend or someone in your family.

If you find that you need a treatment program, you can explore the options in your municipality or contact me. I have nearly 20 years of experience in treating addiction and self-destructive behavior. If you're worried that your treatment will have negative consequences for your future, you can anonymously contact me. If you live far from the nearest treatment facility or have difficulty leaving the house, I offer both online treatment programs and home visits. Right now, the first session is free.

Being a caregiver

It can be mentally and physically burdensome to be a caregiver for a person with a mental illness, addiction issues, or chronic illness. Watching a loved one suffer can sometimes feel worse than experiencing the suffering yourself. You may feel very powerless because you don't know what's going on and how to help.

Furthermore, being a caregiver inevitably puts you in many dilemma-filled situations. For example, who should you prioritize when your loved one needs help in situations that, for one reason or another, don't suit you well? It could be a situation where your loved one needs to talk on the phone with you, but you're unable to handle it. Or it could be a situation where you're asked to attend a meeting at the hospital, but the timing doesn't fit into your schedule. Who should you consider in such situations? The needs of your loved ones? Your own needs? Your family's needs? Your workplace's needs?

Many caregivers choose to prioritize the needs of their loved ones, even if they themselves are worn down in the process. It's natural to want to go through fire and water for the people you care about. But you're not helping your loved one if you end up getting worn out yourself. As a caregiver, you have an increased risk of experiencing stress, anxiety, and depression as a result of your caregiving work. That's why it's important for you to get help in managing your caregiver role in a way that also considers your own health.

Domestic Violence/Intimate Partner Violence

*text from the Mødrehjælpen website

Intimate partner violence isn't just physical abuse like hitting and pushing, but also psychological breakdown and control. Violence exists even in so-called "nice" homes and families. 

In a regular, healthy relationship, power balance is somewhat equal. In a violent relationship, however, the power balance is skewed. A partner's violent behavior can emerge in specific situations, for example, when tempers flare during an argument. But the violence can also be more systematic and persistent.

What is intimate partner violence?

In a relationship where violence follows a pattern of control and isn't just situational, the violent partner will try to gain power over the other through:

• Physical violence
• Psychological violence
• Isolation and control
• Financial violence
• Sexual violence

It's rare to experience only one type of violence. Additionally, many people find that their partner's control continues in the form of stalking and harassment even after the relationship ends. The skewed power balance means that the dynamics in a violent relationship are different, and you can't transfer the responsibility-sharing idea of "both parties are equally responsible" from a non-violent relationship to a violent one.

Family violence or intimate partner violence?

The reason why intimate partner violence is sometimes called family violence is that the violence also affects the family members it doesn't "directly affect." This includes both situational violence linked to specific situations such as an argument or conflict and more systematic violence.

Difference between SELF-ESTEEM and SELF-CONFIDENCE

Do you also find it difficult to see the difference between self-esteem and self-confidence?

Self-confidence (doing):

Basically, self-confidence is about trusting your own abilities. The crown of a tree - with branches and leaves - symbolizes everything you create, meaning everything you can do and how much you (dare to) express yourself.

So when you have self-confidence, you believe

• that you can accomplish what you set out to do
  
  
• that your abilities are sufficient
  
  
• that you have the skills required, or you believe that you are capable of acquiring the skills needed to perform an action

Self-esteem (being):

Self-esteem is about your sense of value as the person you are. If you compare your self-esteem to the roots of a tree, you can measure the strength of your self-esteem based on how strong a root system is established as a foundation.

To feel a healthy self-esteem, you need to:

• feel you can be yourself without having to perform
  
  
• feel valued and important to other people
  
• value yourself and respect yourself as a person who has both good and bad sides
  
  
• feel equal to other people
  
  
• feel that you have a unique place in the world, that no one can replace you in either the family or among friends
  
  
• be aware of who you are, what you like, what you want, and that you are okay with your needs and desires
  

Self-confidence is about what you can do and achieve.

Self-esteem is about who you are and how you feel about being you.

First conversation free of charge and entirely non-committal

Now you have the opportunity to book a clarifying conversation with me. It takes place online via Whereby (a link will be sent to you). The purpose of the conversation is for us to gauge chemistry, and for you to share your expectations, needs, and desires for the process. The conversation lasts approximately 30 minutes.